1. Do the things you did the first year you were dating.

As the months and years roll on, we tend to slink into our proverbial sweatpants and get lazy in our relationship. We lose our patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding and the general effort we once made toward our mate. Think back to the first year of your relationship and write down all the things you used to do for your partner. Now start doing them again.

2. Ask for what you want.

Over time, we assume that our partner knows us so well that we don’t need to ask for what we want. What happens when we make this assumption? Expectations are set and just as quickly, they get deflated. Those unmet expectations can leave us questioning the viability of our partnership and connection. Keep in mind that “asking for what you want” extends to everything from emotional to sexual wants.

3. Become an expert on your partner.

Think about who your mate really is and what excites him or her (both physically and emotionally). We can become consumed by what WE THINK he or she wants, as opposed to tuning in to what truly resonates with the other person. Remember that if it’s important to your partner, it doesn’t have to make sense to you. You just have to do it.

4. Don’t ask “how was your day.”

At the end of a long day, we tend to mentally check out of our lives and consequently, our relationship. We rely on the standard question, “How was your day?” Generally, that boring question will yield a boring answer such as, “Fine, how was yours?” This does nothing to improve your connection and instead, can actually damage it because you’re losing the opportunity to regularly connect in a small way.

Instead, try asking things like, What made you smile today? or “What was the most challenging part of your day?” You’ll be amazed at the answers you’ll get, with the added benefit of gaining greater insight into your significant other.

5. Create a weekly ritual to check in with one another.

It can be short or long but it begins with asking each other what worked and didn’t work about the previous week and what can be done to improve things this coming week. Additionally, use this opportunity to get on the same page with your schedules, plan a date night and talk about what you would like to see happen in the coming days, weeks, and months in your relationship. Without an intentional appointment to do a temperature check, unmet needs and resentments can build.

6. Keep it sexy.

What might change in your relationship if both you and your partner committed to increasing the behaviors you each find sexy and limiting those that aren’t? Think about this in the broadest form. “Sexy” can certainly refer to bedroom preferences, but it also represents what excites us about our mate in our day-to-day lives. Do you find it sexy if he/she helps with the housework? Do you find it “unsexy” when he/she uses the restroom with the door wide open? Talk about what it specifically means to “keep it sexy” in your relationship. Be amazed, be humored, be inspired!

7. Get creative about the time you spend together.

Break out of the “dinner and a movie” routine and watch how a little novelty can truly rejuvenate your relationship. On a budget and can’t go big? Jump on the internet to look for “cheap date ideas” and be blown away at the plethora of options. Can’t afford a sitter? Try swapping babysitting time with friends that have kids. It’s free and they will likely be thrilled to take your kids because they will get to take advantage when they drop their kids at your place.

8. Get it on.

Unless you have committed to an asexual partnership, sex, sexual contact and touching (kissing, holding hands, cuddling etc.) are vital components of a romantic relationship. The frequency is of course, up to you and it’s imperative that you discuss your ideas about it in order to prevent resentment. Rare are the moments when both partners are “in the mood” at the exact same second, but that doesn’t mean that you have to decline their advances. Remind yourself that you will almost always “get there” after the first few minutes and that an intimate interaction of any kind builds connection and elevates your mood and health. Bear in mind that you are never required to say “yes.” If you truly don’t feel it, the best thing you can do is to postpone. Just make sure that you initiate or accept within a reasonable amount of time thereafter.

9. Take a (mental) vacation, everyday.

Life and work distractions can become paramount in our minds and that leaves little time or energy for our partner. Practice the art of “Wearing the Relationship Hat.” This means that (barring any emergencies or deadlines), we are fully present when we’re with our mate. We truly hear what they are saying (instead of pretending to listen), we leave our distractions behind and we don’t pick them up again until the sun comes up and we walk out the door.

Here are some tips to improve communication

Sadly, we aren’t born with the innate ability to effectively communicate but it doesn’t mean that we can’t learn. Use the following techniques to better navigate and limit the tension in your relationship:

10. Take “fight breaks” when you need them.

Before you’ve hit the point of no return and as you see the stress beginning to escalate, one or both of you can call a break so that cooler heads can prevail. The crux of this tool lies in the fact that you must pick a specific time to revisit the conversation (I.e. 10 minutes from now, 2:00pm on Tuesday etc.) so that closure can be achieved.

11. Dig deep to unearth your true feelings.

In most disagreements, we communicate from the “Top Layer,” which are the obvious emotions such as anger, annoyance and the like. Leading from this place can create confusion, defensiveness and ultimately distract from the real issue. Start communicating from the “Bottom Layer” (i.e. What feelings are really driving your reactions such as disappointment, rejection, loneliness, disrespect etc.).

This type of expression creates an instant sense of empathy because it requires honesty and vulnerability to share from this space. Tension will dissipate and from here, solutions can spring. Just be sure to use kind, non-reactive phrasing when expressing these bottom layer feelings, such as “I felt hurt by…” as a replacement for “You’re such a jerk” etc.

12. Seek to understand … not agree.

Easy in concept, difficult in application. Conversations quickly turn to arguments when we’re invested in hearing our partner admit that we were right or when we are intent on changing his/her opinion. Choose to approach a conversation as an opportunity to understand your significant other’s perspective as opposed to waiting for them to concede. From this perspective, we have an interesting dialogue and prevent a blow out or lingering frustration.

13. Make your apology count.

It’s well understood that apologizing is a good thing but it only makes a real impact when you mean it. Saying things like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you see it that way” are a waste of time and breath. Even if you don’t agree that your action was wrong, you will never successfully argue a feeling.

Accept that your mate feels hurt and from this place, a real apology can have a significant impact. When you love your partner and hurt them (intentionally or not) you can always legitimately apologize for the pain you caused regardless of your perspective on what you did or didn’t do.

You are now, officially armed with the comprehensive exercise routine to fully reshape your relationship. Trim the fat and build your hottest relationship for life!

So are you looking for love? or do you want to improve your relationship? Look no further.

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“Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance. – Oscar Wilde”

Each woman is different from the other, and so are her expectations. However, there are some basic things that every woman hopes for in her marriage.

1. Love and affection are the foundations:

Women long for affection in their relationship, whether they are newly married or have spent a couple of years in their marriage. They like to know that they are valued and loved by their husbands. As an ideal husband, you need to spend some fruitful time with your wife. Be affectionate to her, and pay attention to her small demands and wishes. Men should try to be sweet in their words and kind in their deeds.

2. A bit of admiration can do wonders:

Tell your wife how her bright smile makes your day. And that will make her day! Your small words of appreciation make her happy. Praise her for her qualities — she may be a good cook, a good painter, a great homemaker, a caring mother, or a successful career woman who is a pro at her work. Respect her dedication to her work and do not insult her work.

Even if your wife is a stay-at-home mom, her contribution to the family is immense and she needs that recognition from you.

3. A husband addicted to her:

If your wife is out of the city or has gone to her parents’ place, let her know that you are missing her. Show her how much you are addicted to her. Women like their men to miss them.

4. She needs attention:

Women do not want a husband who is more attracted to his smartphone than to his wife. Would you appreciate if your wife is busy browsing on the phone when you try to talk to her something important? Similarly, she, too, expects you to listen to her with attention. Do not brush aside her concerns or worries as trivial.

Pay attention to her when she needs you. It reflects your love for her.

5. A partner who is a friend:

She leaves behind her parents, family, and friends to live with you for the rest of her life. She enters into a hitherto unfamiliar life, and you are the only person she can trust. You are the only one with whom she can share her thoughts and talk her mind.

In short, she seeks a friend in you, a friend who is there with her always and forever. Give her company, spend time with her, crack jokes, and pursue some common interests to strengthen your beautiful relationship.

6. Encouragement to follow her dreams:

Your wife might have compromised on her career or hobbies to make time for you and the kids. Encourage her to take up a job again so that she can fulfill her dreams. She will not feel deprived or live with disappointment that she hasn’t achieved what she wanted in life.

Rather than being judgmental, support her in her endeavors. She will be proud of you forever.

7. A bond of equals:

Marriage is a bond of two persons who are equals. The husband is not superior to the wife. Women want a partner who believes in equality. They want a person who values their opinions, and not put them down. They want a best friend, not a dictator.

A good marital relationship exists if the couple celebrates its success together.

8. Sexual satisfaction:

Sex is as important to women as it is for men. They love to have a man who is sexually active and gives them the pleasure of mating. Trust us, she can’t take hands off you. An active sex life keeps the spark alive in a marriage.

9. A shoulder to cry on:

No matter how mature the woman is, during the time of despair she wants a shoulder to cry on. She expects her life partner to empathize with her, understand her and tell her he is there for her.

10. Understanding and forgiveness:

To err is human. But to forgive is divine. Learn to forgive your wife if she has been hurtful with her words, or did something that she should not have done. When she tries to explain her version, understand her perspective, and that will help you forgive her wholeheartedly. Forgiveness will make you magnanimous.

11. A husband who supports her with a “yes”

Are you a ‘yes-man’ or a ‘no-man’? Being a yes-man does not mean that you agree with everything your wife says. It means being positive. If you keep saying ‘no’ to everything that your wife or kids ask for, they stop asking you for anything. Instead, they do things clandestinely, which could be dangerous for them. Encourage your wife with a yes, and you would become her confidante.

The most important thing that women want in a relationship is happiness. If a man can truly care and love his wife, they can live ‘happily ever after’.
But for such a dreamy relationship, a man needs to fulfill a number of expectations his wife has on him. Who said being a husband is easy, anyway?

12. Handles her tantrums:

Your woman can throw tantrums just like a kid does. She might have crazy mood swings and you would not know what she is upset about. You buy her a red dress thinking that it is her favorite color, but she might simply snub you for buying red and not pink!

Do not get irritated as you will soon understand that she is taking liberties with you because she sees you as her own, you are the closest person to her, and the one who can take her tantrums.

Face her with calmness. Let her frustrating phase pass on before you explain your side of things. The atmosphere at home is peaceful that way.

13. Gets excited about holidays:

Don’t wait until your wife asks you to take on a holiday. Be excited about going to various places with her. You will get to break the monotony and spend some private time with her when you are on holiday. Also, choose places where your smartphone is not smart enough to keep you in touch with your social media friends. This means you are all hers. The sweet memories will be there with you forever.

14. Never checks her phone or emails:

You won’t like it if your wife reads the messages on your Whatsapp or checks your emails. It is the same with her. Do not breach her privacy out of your curiosity to know her friends. Respect her privacy, and she will respect yours.

15. Loves her family:

Embrace her family as you want her to embrace yours. Appreciate the fact that she had grown up, got educated and learned things when she was with her parents. They will always be important for her, and you need to recognize that.

16. Watches TV with her:

It might seem silly, but try doing and you will love it. Watch TV with your wife when the kids are away or sleeping. It is one romantic way to unwind with her. Laugh together, cry together or get scared together, what matters is your togetherness and not what you watch on the TV.

Let her know that she is a good cook. Tell her about your favorite dishes and why you like them. She will be glad to cook for you. Appreciate her effort when she tries to cook something new for you. That will encourage her to perform better.

18. Loyalty- Is honest with her?

A woman cannot accept infidelity or dishonesty in her relationship. She desires a partner who is truthful so that she can stay secure and relaxed. If you are dishonest, even occasionally, you will lose her trust, and she will begin suspecting you even for the right things you do.

17. Expresses his love for her:

You need not keep saying ‘I love you’ day in and day out like a routine. But you can express your love regularly. Those three words will continue to do their magic even after 25 years of your marriage. It gives your wife the confidence that she has chosen a man who is true to her, and will treat her like a queen.

Women may or may not dream of a knight in shining armor, but they definitely want a husband who will treat her like a queen. They aspire for a man who is in love with her even after they spend decades of their life together.

So do you want to have a happier, healthier marriage?

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