HAS YOUR HUSBAND ASKED YOU for a divorce but says that he will miss you and doesn’t want to give you up? Does he keep sending you mixed signals? Does he go as far as wanting to make love with you? You are frustrated and very confused.
Are you wondering ‘What does he really want?’ Because when you decide to divorce your spouse, aren’t you letting them go in every sense of the word?
Contrary to what you may think, many spouses have reported continuing having sex with their soon to be ex-spouses for a variety of reasons. After all, sex with your almost sex is familiar, probably comforting and the absurdity and the naughtiness makes it all too hot.
Why your soon to be ex-husband wants to have sex with you
Your husband could be finding sex with you familiar and convenient, even though you are separated. He knows what he is getting. He may not be ready to date, but he still gets his needs met in the comfort of your home.
Being intimate could be part of the grieving process for him: the funeral sex. Sex at this stage could really be a way for him to grieve, heal and say goodbye to you.
Again, it could be because of the looming divorce, things are much nicer and calmer. There is no fighting, and the pressure is off. You have gotten some me-time, you are taking care of yourself and you have probably started working out. You’re looking much better than you have looked in a long time and he has noticed. He is attracted to you all over again.
It could also be that your husband is conflicted about the looming divorce. This can especially be the case when he sees how much you are hurting. Having sex with you could be his way of comforting you.
Your husband could be finding it hard to turn off his feelings for you. Just because he wants to divorce you does not necessarily mean that he no longer loves you or that he doesn’t wish that things were different. He is probably only dissatisfied with the marriage he has with you at present, but he does not know how to fix things. Feelings do not just disappear just because the marriage is in trouble.
Sex: To have it or not
The little window of time between the separation and divorce is very significant; a lot of important things can happen. It is also when a definite decision will be made to either save or kill the marriage. Many times, you will be willing to do whatever you need to do to keep your family together: including having sex with your spouse.
This is completely honorable considering how much you desire to save your marriage. However, it is highly advisable that you should have sex with your eyes wide open (no pun intended).
Why you should make love with your separated husband
Many times, a marriage could be in trouble despite the fact that the spouses love each other. The love is there, but the ability to make a healthy and fulfilling marriage is not.
Your husband may therefore still have loving feelings towards you only that he does not know how to make your marriage more fulfilling. If you perceive this to the case, then, by all means, go ahead and sleep with your husband. During sex, oxytocin is produced. Oxytocin is also produced during touching and kissing with the highest amounts being released during orgasm.
Oxytocin is a powerful hormone that plays a significant role in bonding spouses together. Having sex may, therefore, set both of you on a journey back to closeness.
Of course, sex alone will not fix your marriage since there is something that is keeping the feelings between the two of you from being sufficient to make your husband stay. You must, therefore, work through whatever the issues might be:
A conflict that keeps cropping up
Lack of intimacy and therefore drifting apart
As you work through your problems, sex will help your feelings to once again take the center stage, followed by the commitment to your marriage.
The big question is, is your husband honest when he says that he still loves you?
Reasons to not have sex with your separated husband
Do you want to save your marriage or just let go? Do you still love your partner? Is your marriage worth saving? Is there any chance of saving your marriage? Only you can answer these questions.
If you have no desire to save your marriage, having sex with your husband is probably a bad idea. Having sex with your husband will not only slow down your healing process but severely compromise your efforts to move on.
Having sex with your husband is also inadvisable if he is involved with another person sexually. Even if you saved this marriage, you would have given your husband the message that you are willing to be intimate with him even when you know he is concurrently having sexual relations with someone else. Is this the message you want to send?
Also, it is almost impossible to compete with an illicit lover. Illicit love is very exciting: the exaggeration of the emotions and the thrill of doing something forbidden. You will find it hard to match up to your husband’s illicit sex when you are emotionally drained by your impending divorce.
If your husband has truly decided to end your marriage, the bonding and closeness that sex brings might set you up for disappointment. If he insists on moving on, having sex with him will set you up for more misery by creating within yourself false hope.
So, what do we say about having sex with your husband even after he has asked for you for a divorce? The decision is yours.
Just a small word of caution, though. Do not allow sex with your partner to go on for too long if he is not deciding to get back together with you. You will be stuck in ‘Limbo land,’ and it won’t be good for you.
Also, bear in mind that there is no such thing as meaningless sex with someone whom you still have feelings for. And you can never call it casual when you are embroiled in the inherent misery of a looming divorce.
Many women have experienced the pain and confusion that inevitably accompanies sex with a soon to be ex. If it is clear you are headed for a divorce, put on the breaks.
Give yourself and your marriage some space. You have many decisions to make and negotiations to settle. You need to navigate the divorce with a clear mind. Love yourself enough to allow yourself time and distance to move on.
If you were asking ‘WHY Is MY HUSBAND STILL SLEEPING With ME When HE WANTS a DIVORCE’ I hope this has gone some way to answering your questions.
Has your husband stopped loving you?
Is there another woman?
What happened to his sexual desire?
Does he really care?
These thoughts can go round and round in your head when your husband withdraws sexually. But although you may feel alone, you are not the only one this happens to. This story repeats itself in many bedrooms all over the world.
The myth that men want to have sex all the time is simply not accurate
According to experts, almost all marriages go through periods when the husband experiences lower sex drive than his wife.
A study that appeared in the Live Science Magazine revealed that 14.4 percent of the men surveyed indicated having experienced lack of sexual desire lasting two or more months within the previous year. Another research showed that 15% to 16% of men lose interest in sex at some point in their lives.
Contrary to popular belief, men and women are not that different concerning sexuality and desire. Experts say that in marriage, it is about 50 / 50. 50% of the time, the wife demands sex more than the husband while 50% of the time, the husband wants sex and the wife doesn’t.
Why doesn’t your husband want to have sex with you?
According to the sex therapists, lack of sex is a symptom, not the root of problems in your marriage. It is truly not about sex. Sex does not happen in a vacuum; it occurs within the quality and context of your relationship. Therefore, emotional disconnection, stress, communication problems, and health issues: all these will affect your husband’s ability and willingness to have sex with you.
Some of the reasons why your husband may not be having sex with you include:
1. He is depressed and not feeling like he wants to have sex
Your husband’s sex drive is wrapped up in his concept of manhood. When he feels like a man, he will want to make love. On the other hand, if he feels like he has lost his masculinity, he won’t. So, the question begs, what does it take for your husband to not feel like a man? When:
2. Your husband is not making any progress at his workplace
He feels like he is not achieving his dreams and goals
He feels like he is letting you down
There is extreme tension in your marriage, and he feels like he doesn’t have a solution
All these can radically decrease your husband’s interest in sex. A man whose masculinity is scarred will definitely have his sexual desire affected.
3. Your husband is struggling to connect with you on an emotional level
This may be news to you if you believe that only women need to bond emotionally to take pleasure in sex. If you have been emotionally distant from your husband because of pressures at work or other commitments, you may have made him feel unloved and neglected. Your husband should never feel unappreciated or as if you are merely tolerating him: He will find it hard to be intimate with you.
4. He is no longer attracted to you
If there has been a lot of negative energy in your relationship, your husband might desire you less. Are you always nagging your husband, criticizing him and putting him down? Evaluate your treatment of your husband and see whether you could be doing anything to drive him away.
The same will happen if your husband feels like you have lost respect for him. No matter how long the two of you have been married; your husband still needs to feel that he is a hero to you.
Experts also indicate that weight gain and changes in your appearance might affect your husband’s attraction to you. The problem isn’t love; it is sex.
5. He may be having an affair
If you have done all you can to revive your husband’s interest in making love and still been unsuccessful, an extramarital affair probably explains it.
A man who has transferred his desire elsewhere will not desire to have sex with you. He may not even be having an affair but he is probably involved with pornography, or he is having an affair with himself; engaging in too much masturbation. All these things can definitely contribute to your husband feeling less concerned about engaging in sex with you.
6. Low sex drive
Your husband could be dealing with low libido. Physical issues like underlying sicknesses and low testosterone will undoubtedly cause low sex drive. The good thing with this issue is that it is easy to fix as long as your husband visits a doctor. So, what can you do to rekindle the intimacy with your husband?
7. Acknowledge that there is a problem
The first thing that you must do is raise the issue with your husband. How you bring up the subject with your husband will significantly determine your success in solving the problem. Your husband, like many other men, will find it hard to talk about his loss of desire for sex.
Experts indicate that masculinity and virility are intimately connected. Your husband will, therefore, be uncomfortable with self-disclosure. Remember, if he especially has a low sex drive, he is terrified even to think that he doesn’t desire sex, let alone admit it.
This topic might be embarrassing and even humiliating for your husband, so how you communicate with him is very crucial.
8. If he is no longer attracted to you
If your husband just doesn’t desire to have sex with you anymore, this is the clearest indication of underlying issues in your relationship. Do you and your husband have unresolved issues? Is your emotional connection what it used to be when you first got married? Does your husband still feel respected and admired by you? Is he still attracted to you? How is the communication with your husband?
Express genuine desire to know what the problem is and show your willingness to work with your husband to make your relationship fulfilling to both of you once again.
9. If he is experiencing low libido
If your husband lets out that he is having a physical issue like erectile dysfunction, do not panic or overreact. Making a big deal out of your husband’s problem will make him even more nervous about his performance. He may eventually shut down.
10. Ban sex for a while
This measure may sound counterproductive, but as you and your husband seek a solution to the problem, you should try some non-sexy things: Taking baths together, giving each other massages. This will take the pressure off your husband as he actively seeks for a solution to the problem.
11. Your husband carries a heavy burden
Whatever the reason for the decrease in sexual desire, your husband is already carrying a heavy load and probably feels as alone in his pain as you.
The anger, pain, and confusion you feel for your husband’s inability or unwillingness to meet your needs for love and sexual fulfillment cannot compare with the burden of inadequacy that your husband carries.
He yearns to be a competent husband. His sense of accomplishment and confidence is tied to his ability to perform in all areas, including sexually.
12. You are not the victim
As such, when approaching your husband, start from a place of curiosity instead of blame. Let him know that you love him and you want your marriage to work. Let him feel that you are a team and you will get through the problem together.
Your reassurance, acceptance, affirmation and comfort will significantly speed up your husband’s recovery process. Be gentle and empathetic with your husband and let him know that you are willing to work with him through whatever the issue is.
If you were asking ‘WHY Is MY HUSBAND STILL SLEEPING With ME When HE WANTS a DIVORCE’ I hope this has gone some way to answering your questions.
1. Do the things you did the first year you were dating.
As the months and years roll on, we tend to slink into our proverbial sweatpants and get lazy in our relationship. We lose our patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding and the general effort we once made toward our mate. Think back to the first year of your relationship and write down all the things you used to do for your partner. Now start doing them again.
2. Ask for what you want.
Over time, we assume that our partner knows us so well that we don’t need to ask for what we want. What happens when we make this assumption? Expectations are set and just as quickly, they get deflated. Those unmet expectations can leave us questioning the viability of our partnership and connection. Keep in mind that “asking for what you want” extends to everything from emotional to sexual wants.
3. Become an expert on your partner.
Think about who your mate really is and what excites him or her (both physically and emotionally). We can become consumed by what WE THINK he or she wants, as opposed to tuning in to what truly resonates with the other person. Remember that if it’s important to your partner, it doesn’t have to make sense to you. You just have to do it.
4. Don’t ask “how was your day.”
At the end of a long day, we tend to mentally check out of our lives and consequently, our relationship. We rely on the standard question, “How was your day?” Generally, that boring question will yield a boring answer such as, “Fine, how was yours?” This does nothing to improve your connection and instead, can actually damage it because you’re losing the opportunity to regularly connect in a small way.
Instead, try asking things like, What made you smile today? or “What was the most challenging part of your day?” You’ll be amazed at the answers you’ll get, with the added benefit of gaining greater insight into your significant other.
5. Create a weekly ritual to check in with one another.
It can be short or long but it begins with asking each other what worked and didn’t work about the previous week and what can be done to improve things this coming week. Additionally, use this opportunity to get on the same page with your schedules, plan a date night and talk about what you would like to see happen in the coming days, weeks, and months in your relationship. Without an intentional appointment to do a temperature check, unmet needs and resentments can build.
6. Keep it sexy.
What might change in your relationship if both you and your partner committed to increasing the behaviors you each find sexy and limiting those that aren’t? Think about this in the broadest form. “Sexy” can certainly refer to bedroom preferences, but it also represents what excites us about our mate in our day-to-day lives. Do you find it sexy if he/she helps with the housework? Do you find it “unsexy” when he/she uses the restroom with the door wide open? Talk about what it specifically means to “keep it sexy” in your relationship. Be amazed, be humored, be inspired!
7. Get creative about the time you spend together.
Break out of the “dinner and a movie” routine and watch how a little novelty can truly rejuvenate your relationship. On a budget and can’t go big? Jump on the internet to look for “cheap date ideas” and be blown away at the plethora of options. Can’t afford a sitter? Try swapping babysitting time with friends that have kids. It’s free and they will likely be thrilled to take your kids because they will get to take advantage when they drop their kids at your place.
8. Get it on.
Unless you have committed to an asexual partnership, sex, sexual contact and touching (kissing, holding hands, cuddling etc.) are vital components of a romantic relationship. The frequency is of course, up to you and it’s imperative that you discuss your ideas about it in order to prevent resentment. Rare are the moments when both partners are “in the mood” at the exact same second, but that doesn’t mean that you have to decline their advances. Remind yourself that you will almost always “get there” after the first few minutes and that an intimate interaction of any kind builds connection and elevates your mood and health. Bear in mind that you are never required to say “yes.” If you truly don’t feel it, the best thing you can do is to postpone. Just make sure that you initiate or accept within a reasonable amount of time thereafter.
9. Take a (mental) vacation, everyday.
Life and work distractions can become paramount in our minds and that leaves little time or energy for our partner. Practice the art of “Wearing the Relationship Hat.” This means that (barring any emergencies or deadlines), we are fully present when we’re with our mate. We truly hear what they are saying (instead of pretending to listen), we leave our distractions behind and we don’t pick them up again until the sun comes up and we walk out the door.
Here are some tips to improve communication
Sadly, we aren’t born with the innate ability to effectively communicate but it doesn’t mean that we can’t learn. Use the following techniques to better navigate and limit the tension in your relationship:
10. Take “fight breaks” when you need them.
Before you’ve hit the point of no return and as you see the stress beginning to escalate, one or both of you can call a break so that cooler heads can prevail. The crux of this tool lies in the fact that you must pick a specific time to revisit the conversation (I.e. 10 minutes from now, 2:00pm on Tuesday etc.) so that closure can be achieved.
11. Dig deep to unearth your true feelings.
In most disagreements, we communicate from the “Top Layer,” which are the obvious emotions such as anger, annoyance and the like. Leading from this place can create confusion, defensiveness and ultimately distract from the real issue. Start communicating from the “Bottom Layer” (i.e. What feelings are really driving your reactions such as disappointment, rejection, loneliness, disrespect etc.).
This type of expression creates an instant sense of empathy because it requires honesty and vulnerability to share from this space. Tension will dissipate and from here, solutions can spring. Just be sure to use kind, non-reactive phrasing when expressing these bottom layer feelings, such as “I felt hurt by…” as a replacement for “You’re such a jerk” etc.
12. Seek to understand … not agree.
Easy in concept, difficult in application. Conversations quickly turn to arguments when we’re invested in hearing our partner admit that we were right or when we are intent on changing his/her opinion. Choose to approach a conversation as an opportunity to understand your significant other’s perspective as opposed to waiting for them to concede. From this perspective, we have an interesting dialogue and prevent a blow out or lingering frustration.
13. Make your apology count.
It’s well understood that apologizing is a good thing but it only makes a real impact when you mean it. Saying things like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you see it that way” are a waste of time and breath. Even if you don’t agree that your action was wrong, you will never successfully argue a feeling.
Accept that your mate feels hurt and from this place, a real apology can have a significant impact. When you love your partner and hurt them (intentionally or not) you can always legitimately apologize for the pain you caused regardless of your perspective on what you did or didn’t do.
You are now, officially armed with the comprehensive exercise routine to fully reshape your relationship. Trim the fat and build your hottest relationship for life!
Having a successful and healthy relationship takes work, but not the stressful and tedious work you might be thinking. You can have a healthy relationship by following just a handful of simple tips. We asked five relationship experts what their number one tip is when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship.
Here are the top 5 relationship tips anyone can follow:
1. Avoid making assumptions.
When people know each other for a while, they can sometimes predict how their partner is going to react. However, when couples fall into a pattern of making assumptions about each other too readily, some significant problems may follow, “Communication between partners can shut down over time. Partners may stop being curious about each other, and in fact may be making incorrect assumptions about each other that can lead to miscommunications. Additionally, people’s thoughts and experiences or even who they are can change over time. When partners make assumptions about each other they may fail to acknowledge how each has grown over time and this can create distance between them.” Continue to communicate about feelings, don’t hide your reactions, and always express what it is you need from your partner.
2. Focus on the positive.
Instead of focusing on flaws in your partner, which perpetuates negative feelings about the relationship, focus on the positive aspects of your partner. “It’s important to look for any positive qualities that you admire in your partner.” “If you have experienced a lot of conflict in your relationship this may pose more of a challenge initially, but I encourage couples to find even small things that they can appreciate about their partner. When you have identified something that you like about your partner (e.g., their patience) it can be helpful to connect the quality with an experience that you’ve had with them. You can also reference qualities that initially attracted you to your partner or an aspect of their character that may have been demonstrated more recently.”
3. Play together and stay together.
Take turns planning weekly romantic date nights or date days. “Hiking, biking, skating or long walks are great things to do. Learn something new together as a couple such as wine making, snow shoeing, a cooking or dance class.” Then, every couple months, even if it’s just a weekend, get away together. “Getting away from everything once a year is also a great way to stay close to each other. You can remove yourself from the everyday distractions at home and enjoy a fun new environment together. Diversity is the key to a strong relationship because things never get stale. You always have something to look forward to.”
4. Maintain your individuality.
Each person in a healthy relationship needs to know who they are and what makes them happy. “Many times when people begin a relationship, they try to please the other person and neglect themselves in order to begin the relationship.” “People ideally begin to develop who they are in childhood and build off this as they mature throughout their life. If both people have a healthy sense of self they can develop a good relationship by bringing their similar qualities as well as their differences to the relationship, and they won’t have one person dominate or overshadow the other.”
5. Choose the right person.
If you really want to know the key to having a healthy relationship, it comes down to who you select to be your partner. “Selecting the right person with whom to build a relationship and share your life is half the battle.” “Yes, you must find them attractive and enjoy their company, but they must also have a good heart, treat you well, and want to be with you. So don’t place all the emphasis on attraction and connection.” The bottom line is that if you’re only just physically attracted to someone and don’t really enjoy spending time with them outside of the bedroom—or if you don’t fully trust, accept, or respect them—the relationship will struggle to be healthy. Find someone else.
Some people will tell you relationships are work, and there’s some truth to that, but it’s also trivializing the matter. Relationships, and fostering healthy relationships, are about more than simply working at it. Your relationships are your life, they are living, evolving things just as you are. And as a result they should grow and change just as you do. As you grow in your relationship, keep in mind these five simple tips. And don’t forget to enjoy the ride.
I have a lot of guys who read the blog, and I get tons of emails from guys, and the most common problem I hear about is, “my wife never wants sex!”
So today I want to present 10 of the most common reasons I’ve come across why a woman may say “no”. If you’re one of my female readers, read the list, and if you think I’m missing something, chime in in the comments! And if you’re a guy, read the list and see if any resonate with you–and then talk to your wife about them. (And if that’s hard to do, here’s a post I wrote a while ago to start get the conversation about valuing sex in marriage going).
If your wife never says yes to sex, one of these might be the reason why
So here are 10 reasons a woman doesn’t want sex:
1. She doesn’t feel connected to you.
For a woman, to have sex after you haven’t talked much in a while feels strange at best, and insulting or degrading at worst. If you haven’t shown that you care what’s going on in her heart, and if you haven’t shared your heart, it’s hard for her to want to open up. For her, sex means getting physically vulnerable. That’s hard to do. If she doesn’t feel as if you’ve been emotionally vulnerable, then sex is often off the table.
For you, of course, sex is often the doorway into emotional vulnerability, since you feel so close to her afterwards. But realize that for her, she needs you to open up first. So spend some time talking and doing stuff together first! Some ideas:
2. She feels overwhelmed.
Women are multitaskers; because we feel so responsible for everyone in our lives, it’s hard for us to turn off the voices in our head that are always reminding us of things that need doing. We feel constant stress about stuff that needs to get done. If there are too many things on our plate, we won’t be able to relax at night. And because women need to be able to concentrate on sex in order for our bodies to feel good (if our heads aren’t in the game, our bodies won’t follow), then feeling overwhelmed kills our sex drive. For men, sex is nice distraction. For women, distractions make sex virtually impossible.
The solution? Help her not feel so overwhelmed! Talk to her about what’s on her plate. Help her through figuring out how to say no to some things. Help her with some of the evening routines, like making lunches for the next day or putting kids in bed. Spend the last 15 minutes of the day helping her think through and talk through what needs to be done tomorrow, so that she can let it go.
3. She has tunnel vision (often for the kids; or for her job)
When something is on our minds, it’s difficult to stop obsessing about it. While men often operate in boxes, and can switch from one box to the next, when something is really worrying us, or when there’s a big challenge ahead, it’s hard to put it aside. Whether it’s a sick child or a parent who is in trouble; a big project due at work; or a friend in crisis, if something is on our hearts, it’s hard to concentrate on sex (and again–sex needs our brain to be present!)
What to do: If she’s worried, listen to her. Let her talk. Pray with her. Be patient. Sometimes she needs the reminder to put things in God’s hands!
4. She’s simply exhausted.
Yes, sex helps you sleep better. But when you are really tired, sex doesn’t seem that appealing.
What to do: Too make you sure neither of you are too tired for sex, take the initiative in setting a bedtime for both of you. Go to bed at a decent hour every night, together. Take as much of the responsibility for some of the housework and childcare as you reasonably can. A good rule of thumb is this: If she is working, then you should be, too. After dinner, if she’s busy cleaning up or putting the kids to bed, then make sure you find a task that needs doing as well!
5. Sex doesn’t feel that great.
Let’s face it: men pretty much always climax during sex. Women don’t. And for many women, sex just doesn’t feel that great. Maybe orgasm is elusive for her. Maybe she’s never figured out how to make it feel good. Maybe she’s said to you, “It’s okay, honey, I don’t mind. I just like feeling close to you.” Eventually that gets old. And it’s hard to keep having sex year after year if she honestly doesn’t feel good.
The solution: Figure out how to make it feel good for her! Remember that her sexual pleasure matters and talk to her about it, because she may have a hard time believing it.
6. Sex feels degrading, like you’re using her.
God designed sex to be threefold: spiritually intimate (feeling like you’re one); emotionally intimate; and physically intimate. Unfortunately, sometimes in our culture we focus so much on the physical that sex actually becomes impersonal. If you’ve used porn, for instance, and she knows that you derive sexual pleasure from looking at other women, then she’ll feel like sex is dirty. You don’t really want HER; you just want release. And you may even be thinking about those images when you’re with her!
Now, that may not be the case. But if you’ve used porn, that’s often what she’ll fear. Show her that you’re getting real about addressing the porn issue in your life.
Join an accountability group. Tell her what steps you’re going to take to make sure that the next time you feel stressed, you’ll have something else to turn to rather than porn.
Or perhaps the problem is not with you at all. Perhaps she grew up with sex being used as a weapon against her, and she was abused or assaulted. Then it’s very hard to get excited about sex in your marriage.
7. Her hormone levels are all over the place.
Yes, hormones play a huge part in a woman’s libido! And when our hormones are out of whack, then our libido may be, too.
If you fear that there’s something really wrong, encourage her to see a doctor. But also educate yourselves on how to best support her hormones. Start eating real food, and not so much packaged foods. Exercise. Get good sleep.
8. She doesn’t feel a great need for it, but she does feel a need for other things.
For you, sex may be one of your primary needs. But if she lives a really busy life, her primary need may be something very different. Maybe what she needs to feel at peace is a few hours every week by herself, with no kids hanging off of her and no demands on her. Maybe she needs some time to read a book, pursue a hobby, or even just have a bubble bath. Ask her, “what do you currently feel like you have no time to do but, if you did it, it would help you feel like you’re on an even keel?” And then help her find time every week to do that one thing!
9. She hates her body.
You may look at her and want her. But if she feels as if she doesn’t measure up, then it’s hard for her to feel sexy.
So much of a woman’s libido is tied up in feeling like she is desired. The really miserable part for you men, though, is that it isn’t enough for you to actually desire her. She has to feel as if she’s worthy of being desired. And so if she feels fat, or if she feels as if her body has gone downhill, then it’s hard for her to feel uninhibited.
So boost her self-image! Don’t tell her that you don’t think she’s attractive, unless you want to kill your sex life. Talk to her about what specifically you like about her body. When you’re relaxing together, touch her there and tell her, “I love looking at this.” And tell her WHY you love her, too.
10. Your hygiene isn’t the best it could be.
Having unpleasant conversations is difficult, and many women just avoid them. I have so many women send me in questions saying, “How can I tell my husband that I don’t like making love to him when he hasn’t brushed his teeth first?” And this has been going on for years! They’ve been avoiding sex, or trying to make sex go as quickly as possible and getting very little out of it, because they’re afraid to say, “your breath stinks.”
This one is so easy to fix! Before you try to initiate sex with your wife, take a shower. Brush your teeth. And put on pyjamas with no holes in them! See if that makes a difference.
So there you go! 10 reasons why women often try to avoid sex. Remember–I also have several books and a course on how to boost your libido that can help women see sex differently. But today, I thought I’d help men try to see it from the wife’s point of view.
“Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance. – Oscar Wilde”
Each woman is different from the other, and so are her expectations. However, there are some basic things that every woman hopes for in her marriage.
1. Love and affection are the foundations:
Women long for affection in their relationship, whether they are newly married or have spent a couple of years in their marriage. They like to know that they are valued and loved by their husbands. As an ideal husband, you need to spend some fruitful time with your wife. Be affectionate to her, and pay attention to her small demands and wishes. Men should try to be sweet in their words and kind in their deeds.
2. A bit of admiration can do wonders:
Tell your wife how her bright smile makes your day. And that will make her day! Your small words of appreciation make her happy. Praise her for her qualities — she may be a good cook, a good painter, a great homemaker, a caring mother, or a successful career woman who is a pro at her work. Respect her dedication to her work and do not insult her work.
Even if your wife is a stay-at-home mom, her contribution to the family is immense and she needs that recognition from you.
3. A husband addicted to her:
If your wife is out of the city or has gone to her parents’ place, let her know that you are missing her. Show her how much you are addicted to her. Women like their men to miss them.
4. She needs attention:
Women do not want a husband who is more attracted to his smartphone than to his wife. Would you appreciate if your wife is busy browsing on the phone when you try to talk to her something important? Similarly, she, too, expects you to listen to her with attention. Do not brush aside her concerns or worries as trivial.
Pay attention to her when she needs you. It reflects your love for her.
5. A partner who is a friend:
She leaves behind her parents, family, and friends to live with you for the rest of her life. She enters into a hitherto unfamiliar life, and you are the only person she can trust. You are the only one with whom she can share her thoughts and talk her mind.
In short, she seeks a friend in you, a friend who is there with her always and forever. Give her company, spend time with her, crack jokes, and pursue some common interests to strengthen your beautiful relationship.
6. Encouragement to follow her dreams:
Your wife might have compromised on her career or hobbies to make time for you and the kids. Encourage her to take up a job again so that she can fulfill her dreams. She will not feel deprived or live with disappointment that she hasn’t achieved what she wanted in life.
Rather than being judgmental, support her in her endeavors. She will be proud of you forever.
7. A bond of equals:
Marriage is a bond of two persons who are equals. The husband is not superior to the wife. Women want a partner who believes in equality. They want a person who values their opinions, and not put them down. They want a best friend, not a dictator.
A good marital relationship exists if the couple celebrates its success together.
8. Sexual satisfaction:
Sex is as important to women as it is for men. They love to have a man who is sexually active and gives them the pleasure of mating. Trust us, she can’t take hands off you. An active sex life keeps the spark alive in a marriage.
9. A shoulder to cry on:
No matter how mature the woman is, during the time of despair she wants a shoulder to cry on. She expects her life partner to empathize with her, understand her and tell her he is there for her.
10. Understanding and forgiveness:
To err is human. But to forgive is divine. Learn to forgive your wife if she has been hurtful with her words, or did something that she should not have done. When she tries to explain her version, understand her perspective, and that will help you forgive her wholeheartedly. Forgiveness will make you magnanimous.
11. A husband who supports her with a “yes”
Are you a ‘yes-man’ or a ‘no-man’? Being a yes-man does not mean that you agree with everything your wife says. It means being positive. If you keep saying ‘no’ to everything that your wife or kids ask for, they stop asking you for anything. Instead, they do things clandestinely, which could be dangerous for them. Encourage your wife with a yes, and you would become her confidante.
The most important thing that women want in a relationship is happiness. If a man can truly care and love his wife, they can live ‘happily ever after’.
But for such a dreamy relationship, a man needs to fulfill a number of expectations his wife has on him. Who said being a husband is easy, anyway?
12. Handles her tantrums:
Your woman can throw tantrums just like a kid does. She might have crazy mood swings and you would not know what she is upset about. You buy her a red dress thinking that it is her favorite color, but she might simply snub you for buying red and not pink!
Do not get irritated as you will soon understand that she is taking liberties with you because she sees you as her own, you are the closest person to her, and the one who can take her tantrums.
Face her with calmness. Let her frustrating phase pass on before you explain your side of things. The atmosphere at home is peaceful that way.
13. Gets excited about holidays:
Don’t wait until your wife asks you to take on a holiday. Be excited about going to various places with her. You will get to break the monotony and spend some private time with her when you are on holiday. Also, choose places where your smartphone is not smart enough to keep you in touch with your social media friends. This means you are all hers. The sweet memories will be there with you forever.
14. Never checks her phone or emails:
You won’t like it if your wife reads the messages on your Whatsapp or checks your emails. It is the same with her. Do not breach her privacy out of your curiosity to know her friends. Respect her privacy, and she will respect yours.
15. Loves her family:
Embrace her family as you want her to embrace yours. Appreciate the fact that she had grown up, got educated and learned things when she was with her parents. They will always be important for her, and you need to recognize that.
16. Watches TV with her:
It might seem silly, but try doing and you will love it. Watch TV with your wife when the kids are away or sleeping. It is one romantic way to unwind with her. Laugh together, cry together or get scared together, what matters is your togetherness and not what you watch on the TV.
Let her know that she is a good cook. Tell her about your favorite dishes and why you like them. She will be glad to cook for you. Appreciate her effort when she tries to cook something new for you. That will encourage her to perform better.
18. Loyalty- Is honest with her?
A woman cannot accept infidelity or dishonesty in her relationship. She desires a partner who is truthful so that she can stay secure and relaxed. If you are dishonest, even occasionally, you will lose her trust, and she will begin suspecting you even for the right things you do.
17. Expresses his love for her:
You need not keep saying ‘I love you’ day in and day out like a routine. But you can express your love regularly. Those three words will continue to do their magic even after 25 years of your marriage. It gives your wife the confidence that she has chosen a man who is true to her, and will treat her like a queen.
Women may or may not dream of a knight in shining armor, but they definitely want a husband who will treat her like a queen. They aspire for a man who is in love with her even after they spend decades of their life together.
A strong relationship is what most of us crave for. To have a sense of belonging and to have a person right by our side through happiness, grief, success, and failure. The secret to a healthy relationship is to have intimacy with your partner. We agree that there are certainly other things like passion, trust, etc. but intimacy rates the highest according to most psychologists.
Intimacy is when the other person knows you completely, inside out and truly loves you for who you are. He accepts you despite all the flaws and is ready to share your weirdest, wildest dreams with you. The only way to achieve this is by being brutally honest with each other. The more you know about each other, the deeper the intimacy level would be.
Intimacy in a relationship makes you feel comfortable and at home in the presence of your partner. You feel truly relaxed around each other and crave each other when you are away. Intimacy is how you can take your relationship to a whole new level.
If you are thinking about how to improve intimacy with your husband, don’t worry we have got you covered. We have compiled a list of things that increase the intimacy level between couples. This has surely helped a lot of couples before and would definitely help you too. Let’s begin!
1. Open up to get closer
Intimacy is an ongoing process of discovering new things about each other. It is quite normal that as time passes the urge to discover new things about each other slows down, consciously or subconsciously. People who tend to open up easily have shown a tremendous amount of commitment in their relationships. Those who have trouble opening up to their partners face difficulty in maintaining their relationships.
2. Make emotional conversations
Emotional conversations bring people closest. When you share your day, your thoughts, and feeling with your partner and he understands. This is the best feeling in the world. This is one of the best ways how to improve intimacy with your partner.
3. Try something new
Ritualistic and mundane behavior can make things boring. When you try something new for instance, taking a vacation you always wanted, gets you closer. When you start planning things together like you are in sync to get things done. Small things like this have made some massive changes in relationships.
4. Enjoy your routine
Yes, we know we just said to try something new but when you can have fun even with the same everyday chores and work that’s when intimacy kicks in. When things are new, and we are getting to know the other person; our emotions are intense. Eventually, with time, our actions become more and more predictable to each other. Mostly, people may view this as a negative thing, but it’s really not because predictability leads to intimacy. When we complete each other’s sentences when there is comfort in silence that’s the true meaning of intimacy. Try reach here, and this is how to improve intimacy with your partner.
5. Walking away shouldn’t be an option
One of the root cause of divorce and broken relationships is lack of communication. If you are having an argument or you are in a fight with your partner: DO NOT WALK AWAY. Silent treatment always messes things up. It makes it difficult for the both of you to face each other, and that should never be the case. Whenever things get a little heated up talk and don’t walk away. You can scream and get loud, but whatever is troubling you inside say it. Conversing and putting the anger out there is definitely better than staying quiet.
6. You shouldn’t have any secrets between you
One of the solid ways to how to improve intimacy with your husband is a no secret policy. I agree that space is necessary, and everyone needs a little ‘me time’ but make sure that space isn’t too much to handle. When there are secrets in a relationships things, tend to get complicated. Talk to him no matter how dirty a situation might be. Make him understand so he can be there for you. Comfort level always increases with verbal sharing, and we cannot stress this anymore. Non-judgmental conversations are absolutely pivotal.
Each relationship and marriage is special on their own. No one is perfect, and everyone tends to go through some ups and downs in life. It is the determination and commitment you have towards each other that allows the relationship to grow and prosper. Respect and accept each other because that’s the best way how to improve intimacy with your husband.
The term “intimate relationships” is used here to be maximally inclusive of any romantic and/or sexual relationship between two non-biologically-related people, including dating or courtship relationships, relationships in which the romantic partners live together in the same household (cohabiting), relationships in which two people have children in common but are no longer formally romantically or sexually involved with one another, and marital relationships. Ideally such relationships are loving and supportive, protective of and safe for each member of the couple. Unfortunately, some people, while fulfilling these nurturing, positive needs of their partners at least some of the time and at least early in their relationship’s development, also behave abusively, causing their partners and often others as well substantial emotional and/or physical pain and injury. In extreme cases, abusive behavior ends in the death of one or both partners, and, sometimes, other people as well. Non-lethal abuse may end when a relationship ends. Frequently, however, abuse continues or worsens once a relationship is over. This can happen whether the relationship is ended by just one of the partners or, seemingly, by mutual consent.
There are several types of abuse that occur in intimate romantic relationships. It is frequently the case that two or more types of abuse are present in the same relationship. Emotional abuse often precedes, occurs with, and sometimes follows physical or sexual abuse in relationships. Sexual and non-sexual physical abuse also co-occur in many abusive relationships, and, as with emotional abuse, sexual and non-sexual abuse often are combined elements of a single abusive incident.
Emotional Abuse also called psychological abuse or aggression, verbal abuse or aggression, symbolic abuse or aggression, and nonphysical abuse or aggression. Psychological and emotional abuse has been variously characterized as “the use of verbal and nonverbal acts which symbolically hurt the other or the use of threats to hurt the other” (Straus, 1979, p. 77); “behaviors that can be used to terrorize the victim that do not involve the use of physical force” (Shepard & Campbell, 1992, p. 291); the “direct infliction of mental harm” and “threats or limits to the victim’s well-being” (Gondolf, 1987), and ” an ongoing process in which one individual systematically diminishes and destroys the inner self of another. The essential ideas, feelings, perceptions, and personality characteristics of the victim are constantly belittled.” (Loring, 1994, p. 1).
Psychological and emotional abuse is considered an important form of abuse because many women report that it is as harmful or worse than physical abuse they suffer.
Woman with arms crossed is sulking while her partner is talking to her
Behaviors regarded as psychologically and emotionally abusive include, but are not limited to:
Insulting the partner.
Swearing at one’s partner or calling him or her names.
Belittling or ridiculing the partner; insulting the partner.
Belittling or berating one’s partner in front of other people.
Putting down the partner’s physical appearance or intellect.
Saying things to upset or frighten one’s partner; acting indifferently to one’s partner’s feelings.
Making one’s partner do humiliating or demeaning things.
Demanding obedience to whims.
Ordering the partner around/treating him or her like a servant.
Becoming angry when chores are not done when wanted or as wanted.
Acting jealous and suspicious of the partner’s friends and social contacts.
Putting down one’s partner’s friends and/or family.
Monitoring the partner’s time and whereabouts.
Monitoring one’s partner’s telephone calls or e-mail contact.
Stomping out of a room during an argument or heated discussion.
Sulking and refusing to talk about an issue.
Making decisions that affect both people or the family without consulting one’s partner or without reaching agreement with one’s partner.
Threatening to leave the relationship.
Doing something to spite one’s partner.
Withholding resources such as money.
Refusing to share in housework or childcare.
Restricting the partner’s usage of the telephone and/or car.
Not allowing one’s partner to leave the home alone.
Telling one’s partner his or her feelings are irrational or crazy.
Turning other people against one’s partner.
Blaming the partner for one’s problems and/or one’s violent behavior.
Preventing the partner from working or attending school.
Preventing the partner from socializing with friends and/or seeing his or her family.
Preventing the partner from seeking medical care or other types of help.
Throwing objects (but not at the partner).
Hitting or kicking a wall, furniture, doors, etc.
Shaking a finger or fist at one’s partner.
Making threatening gestures or faces.
Threatening to destroy or destroying personal property belonging to one’s partner.
Threatening to use physical or sexual aggression against one’s partner.
Driving dangerously while one’s partner is in the car as a conscious intentional act to scare or intimidate.
Using the partner’s children to threaten them (e.g., threatening to kidnap).
Threatening violence against the partner’s children, family, friends, or pets.
These examples are based on items from various instruments used to measure emotional aggression in romantic and family dyads.
Economic Abuse: This could be considered a subcategory of emotional abuse since it serves many of the same functions as emotional abuse and has some of the same emotional effects on victims. However, it can be distinguished by its focus on preventing victims from possessing or maintaining any type of financial self-sufficiency or resources and enforcing material dependence of the victim on the abusive partner that is, this behavior is intended to make the victim entirely dependent on the abusive partner to supply basic material needs like food, clothing, and shelter or to supply the means to obtain them. The desire to isolate the victim from other people can be one of the motives for economic abuse as well, however. Behaviors that could lead to the material dependence of a victim of abuse on her or his abuser some of which are already listed under the larger Emotional Abuse category include but are not limited to, when the abusive party:
Makes monetary or investment decisions to which the partner might object that affect both people and/or the family without consulting the partner or without reaching agreement with the partner.
Withholds resources such as money or spends a large share of the family budget on him- or herself leaving little money leftover for purchase of food and payment of bills.
Refuses to share in housework or childcare responsibilities so the partner can work.
Restricts the partner’s usage of the family car or other means of transportation.
Does not allow the partner to leave the home alone.
Prevents or forbids the partner from working or attending school or skills training sessions.
Interferes with work performance through harassing and monitoring activities like frequent telephone calls or visits to the workplace (in the hopes of getting the partner fired, for example).
Social Isolation: This also could be considered a subcategory of emotional abuse since it serves many of the same functions as emotional abuse. It can be distinguished by its focus on interfering with and destroying or impairing the victim’s support network and making the victim entirely or largely dependent on the abusive partner for information, social interaction, and satisfying emotional needs. Socially isolating the victim increases the abuser’s power over the victim, but it also protects the abuser. If the victim does not have contact with other people the perpetrator will not be as likely to have to deal with legal or social consequences for his behavior and the victim will not be as likely to get help, including help that may lead to an end to the relationship. Abusive behaviors that could lead to the social isolation of a victim of abuse (some of which were already listed under the larger Emotional Abuse category above) include:
Acting jealous and suspicious of the partner’s friends and social contacts;
Putting down the partner’s friends and/or family.
Monitoring the partner’s time and whereabouts.
Restricting the partner’s usage of the telephone and/or car; not allowing the partner to leave the home alone.
Preventing the partner from working or attending school.
Acting in ways that are aimed at turning other people against the partner.
Preventing the partner from socializing with friends and/or seeing his or her family.
Preventing the partner from seeking medical care or other types of help; threatening the lives or well-being of others with whom the partner might have contact.
Physical Abuse also called physical aggression or abuse; intimate partner violence or abuse; conjugal, domestic, spousal, or dating or courtship violence or abuse. Physical aggression in the context of intimate relationships has been defined as “an act carried out with the intention, or perceived intention, of causing physical pain or injury to another person” (Straus & Gelles, 1986). This is behavior that is intended, at minimum, to cause temporary physical pain to the victim, and includes relatively “minor” acts like slapping with an open hand and severe acts of violence that lead to injury and/or death. It may occur just once or sporadically and infrequently in a relationship, but in many relationships it is repetitive and chronic, and it escalates in frequency and severity over time.
Physical abuse includes, but is not limited to:
Slapping or hitting with an open hand.
Pushing; shoving; grabbing.
Arm twisting or bending.
Hitting or punching with a fist.
Throwing objects at the partner.
Hitting with hard or sharp objects.
Kicking; biting (non-playfully).
Throwing or body slamming the partner against objects, walls, floors, vehicles, onto the ground, etc.
Pushing or shoving or dragging a partner down stairs or off any raised platform or height.
Cutting; scalding or burning.
Forcing a person out of a moving vehicle.
Holding down or tying up the partner to restrain the partner against his or her will.
Locking a partner in a room, closet, or other enclosed space.
Choking or strangling.
Attempting to drown.
Threatening with a weapon.
Attempting to use a weapon against a partner.
Actually using a weapon against a partner.
Sexual abuse includes behaviors that fall under legal definitions of rape, plus physical assaults to the sexual parts of a person’s body, and making sexual demands with which one’s partner is uncomfortable (Marshall, 1992a; Shepard & Campbell, 1992). It also had been defined as including “sex without consent, sexual assault, rape, sexual control of reproductive rights, and all forms of sexual manipulation carried out by the perpetrator with the intention or perceived intention to cause emotional, sexual, and physical degradation to another person” (Abraham, 1999, p. 592).
Sexual abuse includes, but is not limited to:
Demanding sex when one’s partner is unwilling.
Demanding or coercing the partner to engage in sexual activities with which the partner is uncomfortable.
Coerced penile penetration of any kind (oral, vaginal, or anal).
Physically coerced sexual acts of any kind (e.g., through threats with or use of weapons or threats or use of other means of inflicting bodily harm).
Using an object or fingers on one’s partner in a sexual way against his or her will.
Use of alcohol or drugs on one’s partner to obtain sex when the partner was (and/or would be) unwilling.
Physical attacks against the sexual parts of the partner’s body.
Interference with birth control.
Insistence on risky sexual practices (such as refusal to use a condom when a sexually transmitted disease is a known or suspected risk).
Forced or coerced participation in pornography.
Forced or coerced sexual activity in the presence of others, including children.
Forced or coerced prostitution or non-consensual sexual activity with people other than and/or in addition to the partner.
Forced or coerced sex with animals.
Forced or coerced participation in bondage or other sadomasochistic activities.
Stalking (also known clinically as obsessional following. This type of behavior also can be directed toward people with whom the perpetrator has not been romantically involved and can involve motives other than sexual or “amorous” ones notably anger, hostility, paranoia, and delusion. Stalking has been defined variously as: knowingly and repeatedly following, harassing, or threatening another person. Unsolicited and unwelcome behavior, that is, initiated by the defendant against the complainant, that is, at minimum alarming, annoying, or harassing, and that involves two or more incidents of such behavior. A course of conduct directed at a specific person that involves repeated visual or physical proximity; nonconsensual communication; verbal, written, or implied threats; or a combination thereof that would cause fear in a reasonable person with repeated meaning on two or more occasions, and “the willful, malicious, and repeated following and harassing of another person that threatens his or her safety” and “an abnormal or long term pattern of threat and harassment directed toward a specific individual.
As a form of intimate partner abuse, stalking is frequently associated with separation or the end of a romantic relationship. However, some of the behaviors classified under the emotional abuse, economic abuse, and social isolation categories listed above that occur in both intact and ended relationships qualify as stalking behaviors as well. Walker and Meloy (1998) have suggested that, with regard to intact intimate romantic relationships, stalking is an “extreme form of typical behavior between a couple that has escalated to the point of monitoring, surveillance, and overpossessiveness, and that induces fear. Results from the National Violence Against Women Survey (Tjaden & Thoennes, 1998) indicate that many women who are stalked by intimate partners (36%) are stalked by their partners both during and after their relationships end.
Stalking includes, but is not limited to, behaviors such as:
Secretly following and/or spying on the partner.
Hiring someone else to follow or spy on the partner.
Verbally threatening the partner (implicitly or explicitly) through telephone calls or messages on telephone answering machines, written or electronic correspondence, or in person.
Sending cards, letters, gifts or other packages, etc. to the partner’s home or office or leaving such things at the partner’s home, office or on or in the partner’s vehicle inappropriately i.e.,
inappropriately given the status of the relationship).
Appearing in places the partner frequents and waiting for the partner to catch a glimpse of him or her.
Threatening to damage or destroy the partner’s personal property.
Damaging or destroying the partner’s personal property.
Stealing from the partner.
Accosting the partner or someone close to the partner.
So are you in an abusive relationship?
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Figuring out how to get a boyfriend isn’t a joke anymore.
If you’re wondering how to get a boyfriend, well, that’s the easy part. Getting a boyfriend is easy, but getting the guy you desire is the difficult part. Want to know how to get any guy you like to ask you out?
A good decade ago, it was only the kids and preteens that wondered about this question.
But now, just about every girl wants to know how to get a boyfriend who will respect her and love her for who she is.
After all, we aren’t speaking of just about any boyfriend.
We’re talking about an absolutely great guy who likes a girl for who she is, and a guy who’s going to be there by her side through thick and thin.
How to get a boyfriend who’s all that
You may have found the perfect guy in the world, and you may be wondering how to tell him that you like him. Or perhaps, you may be completely clueless and waiting for someone to approach you and ask you out.
Either ways, if you’re interested in knowing how to get a boyfriend, you need to know how to become irresistible to guys in the first place.
How to be an irresistible girl
Quite frankly, the problem isn’t with guys or girls here. Knowing how to get a boyfriend is all about knowing how to be the irresistible girl who can be desired by guys.
Here are five tips that can change the way guys see you, and make you irresistible.
#1 A strong personality
You wouldn’t like a guy who doesn’t have a personality. So why would a great guy like you if you don’t have it either. Now if you really want to know how to get a boyfriend who’s fancied by all girls and admired by all guys, you need to build yourself a personality.
You need to be cheerful and nice, but at the same time, you need to create an aura of confidence around yourself. Don’t be the clown or someone who can be pushed around easily by everyone. You need to be confident and carry yourself with grace and panache. Be likeable, but yet, be someone who’s taken seriously.
#2 Appear unavailable even if you’re single
No guy desires a girl who’s easily available. Play hard to get. Talk to boys but keep them at a distance. Don’t be a pushover and don’t let anyone take you for granted. Never run errands for guys. Learn to be unpredictable when you’re talking to guys. And at times, even fussy and moody. As much as guys say they want a girl who can get along, they still want a fussy princess.
After all, Archie still runs behind Veronica rather than Betty. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? You know the rules of playing hard to get, so play them and play them well.
#3 Groom yourself
Now good looks are an added advantage if you want to know how to get a boyfriend. But the real key to getting a great boyfriend is not good looks, but knowing how to look good.
Most of the glamorous celebrities and models don’t really have the prettiest faces or bodies, but it’s the way they carry themselves and groom themselves that makes them look so stunning. Katy Perry and Lady Gaga may not be the prettiest women without their makeup and their attitude. But any guy would love to date them or go out with them.
Stop focusing on your flaws and pay attention to what’s good in you. And before you know it, you can dazzle any guy with your poise, confidence and the way you carry yourself.
#4 Send out the right signals
Do you like a guy? Then send out the right signals only to him. Look at him now and then, and let him notice that. Blush a bit, flutter your eyelashes or run your hands through your hair coyly, just above your ears. But never overdo it and make yourself seem like a stalker. Stare at the guy you like for a few seconds and snub him for a couple of days. Make him want you, and never let him know that you want him.
Let him crave for your attention and make him come to you. The secret behind knowing how to get a boyfriend all girls desire is to draw him and confuse him, and never letting him know he’s got the upper hand in the flirty game. Never make it obvious by telling all your friends and giggling like he’s your teenage crush! Stare at him deeply now and then, and ignore him for a few days. You hold the reins in this game, and he’ll come begging to you in no time.
#5 Learn to be sweet where it matters
Once you have his attention, make him come to you. Smile at him when you’re at the other end of the hall, but ignore him when he’s close by. That would confuse him, and yet, make him crazy about you.
Don’t flirt with too many guys, assuming it would make him jealous. It could make him think you’re a tramp. You can be rude to any guy though, who tries misbehaving around you or tries to hit on you when the guy you like is around. Snubbing other guys makes the guy you like want you even more.
And when he finally works up the courage to ask you out, be sweet with him. Make him feel special, and let him understand that he’s being treated nicely. Don’t overdo it, but make him feel warm and fuzzy for having a conversation with you. And if he ever talks about you staring at him or smiling at him from across the hall, deny it outright and get fussy.
Never let him know that you accept making the first move. Always make it look like it was him and him alone who made all the moves to talk to you. That’s how you play fussy, sweet and hard to get all at once!
If you just follow these simple moves, not only will you know how to get a boyfriend, you’d also know how to attract the attention of any Handsome guy you like.
So are you looking for love? Look no further.
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Do you want to know how to make him want you all the time? You may be thinking about your man 24/7, but is he doing the same? Learn to mesmerize your man and make him love you and think about you all the time with these simple tips.
The beginning of a new relationship is arguably the best part. The tingly feelings of butterflies that come with a first meeting can never be replicated.
But can you make this last forever? Can you make him love you more with each passing day?
How can you make him think about you all the time?
You may catch his eye, but how can you ensure that he’s hooked to you? How can you make him want you, and love you for who you are?
How to make him want you
Men are essentially more single-minded than women. Let’s just say they don’t see things as we do.
Every situation does not have the typical million alternatives in a man’s life.
For him, not calling simply would mean you’re busy, and he’d never think that you’re not interested.
So your task is to keep him interested, and make him want you.
Your weapons? Self confidence and control. Here is your modus operandi to make him love you more, effortlessly.
SO WHAT CAN YOU DO TO MAKE HIM LOVE YOU MORE
#1 Be busy
Never make it look like you’re sitting by the phone waiting for his call, even if you are. Go out, meet people, start a hobby even if it’s just to get your mind off things.
And make sure he knows your busy bee activities, as not only will it keep him intrigued by you, it will make him feel grateful for getting to spend a little time with you.
#2 Never show that it bothers you
The biggest mistake most women make is to whine, but why didn’t you call me last night, yesterday, every hour? To clobber him with questions is only going to push him away rather than make him love you more. A wistful “but you used to do it before… is even worse.
In the beginning of every relationship, hormones are on overdrive and that would make him want you all the time. And without even realizing it, he would want to spend every waking moment with you. But a relationship, like everything else, is progressive.
So it then goes into the stage where you’re both comfortable with each other, which means you don’t need to call each other every few hours in order to feel loved.
#3 Feel good about yourself
If you’re wondering how to make him want you all the time, wear something you feel desirable in, be it your favorite pair of jeans or a pair of sexy boy shorts. When you feel sexy, it shows! And he’s going to reciprocate the desire.
#4 Pay attention to appearance
As shallow as this sounds, you have to make a first impression or a good series of first impressions. It should be a while before you can let him see you with a bed head and no makeup.
#5 Take initiative
Forget about playing hard to get, take over in the bedroom and otherwise. Just not all the time, unless you want it predictable and yawn-inspiring. If you want to make him want you all the time and make him love you helplessly, you need to keep his interest piqued. So leave him a message commanding him to meet you at your favorite restaurant and plan an evening of fun to follow.
#6 Inflate his ego
This is an obvious one. Turn him on by complimenting him on what he’s wearing and how good he looks, lightly brush against his shoulder as you walk by, and make lots of eye contact and smoldering looks. Knowing that a girl is smoking hot and that she desires him, will only make him want the girl, a.k.a. you, even more.
Remember, a guy may say he wants his space or that he needs to have some guy time without thinking about his girlfriend, but it isn’t always true. You can accept it and move along. Or you can make him want you and be with you without even asking him to do that!
Just let him see that true confident girl that you are, and let him know that you don’t really need him around all the time too.
If you follow these tips, you won’t be wondering how to make him want you or make him love you, you’ll make him beg to be around you all the time!